Cultivating Respect in an Era of Tolerance

I have been thinking a lot about the "civil rights movement" of our time.  It's hard not to, it's everywhere.  People advocating for it, people advocating against it.  People too scared to say anything for fear of being labeled, judged, or mocked.  It seems like no one can have an opinion on the matter that isn't criticized.  There is no respect from anyone.

In an age of "tolerance", where we are admonished on all sides to "not judge" and to "be tolerant" of people and ideas that differ from our own, we are rarely taught or encouraged to be respectful.  To tolerate means to allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of something that one does not necessarily agree with without interference.  But to be respectful means to have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights and traditions of others.  The TRADITIONS, the RIGHTS, the FEELINGS.

Regardless of the past, we are indeed encouraged to move forward.  Yes, homosexuals have been poorly treated in the past, as have numerous minorities.  Does this make it right?  Of course not.  Does it mean that it is now their turn to get their oppressors back?  No.  That makes them no better than those who were so awful to begin with.  Forgive me for using a religious example, but it's like an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.  Where do we end up but blind and toothless? as Tevia would say.  Another Christian example?  Christ did nothing when he was being mocked and beaten.  He gladly forgave those who harmed him.  He probably didn't agree with what they were doing, but he did not condemn them.  Neither should we of anyone who behaves or feels differently than we do, on BOTH sides.

I understand the need for everyone to feel secure and protected, to be able to live the way they feel most happy.  Something I've thought about is the fact that many advocators for traditional marriage do not agree with same sex marriage.  While advocators for same sex marriage do not have a problem with traditional marriage.  It's not that they are trying to redefine marriage to be homosexual only, but inclusive.  I can also understand the fear of those who advocate for traditional marriage, fearing that if the line is redrawn, it is essentially removed and where will the change end?  Will we soon be able to marry as many dogs as we want?  Of course that is a silly example, but there are people out there who think like that.

I think EVERYONE needs to arrive at a compromise.  Yes, for centuries, marriage has been defined as a heterosexual union, arranged or otherwise.  Marriage for tax and government purposes has been likewise.  But I already see a distinction forming.  Traditional Marriage vs. Gay Marriage.  Two terms to describe two types of marriage.  Plural Marriage isn't traditional marriage either, yet those who practice it aren't offended to call it that.

Another thing I thought of......a lot of people dehumanize homosexuals.  They are compared to sex hungry animals in many instances, which is rude, wrong, and ridiculous.  Stereotyping causes trouble quickly.  It would be like calling all Catholic priest pedophiles, which is of course not the case!  Do some exist?  Probably, but it is not good to hold a group of people to the standard of one.  Something homosexuals try to explain is the feeling of love, the love they feel for one another.  Good friends can attest to perhaps similar feelings of love, feelings that have nothing to do with sexuality.  Husbands and wives married for years, where "the romance has died" still feel love and admiration for one another.  My LDS roots led me to think this.....and it's probably not correct, but just something I thought.  In a world where heterosexual males and females are afraid to express love (not sex) to one another, maybe homosexuals have a leg up on being capable of loving anyone, any gender, unconditionally as we are commanded to.  After all, in LDS theology, we are commanded to love everyone as we love ourselves, yet many heterosexuals are fearful of expressing affection due to common prejudice and insecurity.

Let me be clear.  I do not agree with homosexual copulation, and I'm an advocate for traditional marriage.  However, I believe in cultivating an attitude of respect for our differing opinions on both sides.  I do not hate the LGBT community at all!  I'm sure they are descent as "the rest of us", and I know they have feelings, wants and dreams just like me.  They are human beings after all!  But I don't have to like the color green just because everyone says I should.  And I don't need to be labeled a bigot for preferring red instead.   Church and state should be separated, but churches shouldn't be punished federally for advocating their defining traditions.  If we are promoting change, perhaps new institutions could be created, as they have been in days past, to accommodate changing views.  And let the traditional change in a time well enough for them, if they desire to.

Times are going to change no matter what we do, civilizations have been changing and evolving ever since peoples came together.  Its not going to stop.  But no one should be forced to believe in something they don't want to, on any side, in any circumstance.  And no one should be judged badly for their beliefs.  Everyone is doing the best with what they have, and it is their prerogative to believe what they will, and to share it just the same.

Hopefully Done Soon!

Nick says the work is going pretty fast, at least faster than they originally thought.  So he should be able to come home soon. In the meantime, he's been able to visit and see some beautiful country in between collecting days.  Here's a couple pictures he's sent me recently.

Vaccinate Addendum

So,

what led to my previous post was the fact that one of my FB friends (thank goodness that was all she was), posted an obituary for that young man, saying she was glad she and her family didn't get vaccinations because this was the outcome.

My response, because I am an advocate for vaccines, was it was an inconclusive case, and THAT WAS IT.  Which I was right, there was no evidence for or against it.  So to base your decision to vaccinate, or to justify your reason for not doing it, based an a bit of inconclusive information is silly.

Very suddenly, four women swooped in, all calling me a radical left winged vaccinator out to destroy life as we know it.  They called me ignorant, bloody crazy, and even at one point said changing my profile picture didn't make me look any smarter.  …….really?  A bunch of dung throwers in a cow pen.    They came at me telling me I was a horrible person for saying disliking vaccines was bad, which I didn't say at all.  Of course, when they accused me, I offered why I believed vaccinating was good, and then it got ugly.

Me against 4 emotionally charged women, obviously suffering from some illness for which they weren't vaccinated that had compromised brain function…..yes, that was mean.  But they just would not leave it alone, even after I explain again  my statement was not about vaccinating or not, regardless of my opinion, it was that you can't arrive at a logical conclusion without substatial evidence, for which there was none.  I made the mistake of saying we should all go back to birthing babies in caves (as a quip to be funny…) and that was the only thing they could debate about!  Probably because that was the only thing they were smart enough to debate about.

Example:

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  Andrea Tate Sara, just because you have worked in health care doesn't mean anything to me or make you an expert on anything. And the FDA is the problem! Not everyone sees eye to eye. It's OK for me to not agree with you and for you to not agree with me. I guess you could say we agree to disagree.

  9 hours ago · Like
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  Sara-Helen Davis All I was trying to say is it was wrong of that woman to publicly blame something with no evidence. Vaccinations have saved countless lives all over the world, but if you look for the negative, you will find it. I don't care if you don't wish to be vaccinated, but I do think it is wrong to support ignorance.

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  Andrea Tate No one knows their child better than a mother. We don't know all the details but that mother does, and maybe there is plenty of evidence. It would be wrong of us to judge her or proclaim her to be ignorant. There are always two sides to every story.

  8 hours ago · Like · 1
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  Sara-Helen Davis Ok, obviously I'm not getting anywhere......but it is kind of a big deal to say something with no REAL evidence in the hopes to affect some "liberate the world from vaccinations" movement. It's tragic what happened, but because she elected not to have an autopsy performed, it will never be conclusive. You must agree with that.

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  Andrea Tate Sara, I would say I am somewhere in the middle on Vaccines. I have 2 boys who were "immunize by 2 it's up to you" so they are fully immunized, and a daughter who is not immunized. I don't think it is all together a horrible thing. But a person has to do A LOT of thoughtful research on BOTH sides of the coin and then make their best decisions. That's all anyone can really do.

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  Andrea Tate Sorry to blow up your feed Chelsea Lyman Parkin!

  8 hours ago · Like
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  Sara-Helen Davis .......seriously? You didn't even address the real issue I had originally presented, and then presented again. Oh well, I'm used to it.

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  Andrea Tate Yes, actually I did.

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  Sara-Helen Davis Uh no, you can't convict without substantial evidence. Mother's intuition is not substantial evidence. And like I said....she decided to not pursue retrieving evidence. So my point remains, you cannot blame the vaccination. Grievence is not a sufficient excuse. Thanks for making me seem like a monster mocking a grieving mother, which was not my intent, though you drove it there. I don't care if you vaccinate or not, but you simply cannot in good conscience agree with a scientific statement that has not been tested. I will not, though you will, and we will leave it at that.

  • 8 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
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    Andrea Tate Sara you are ignorant. I will leave it at that.

Can you see how she COMPLETELY missed my point?  And it kept going, getting worse and worse, and yes, my claws come out and I fight dirty when people attack my character.

Its ok, I'm right, and I know it.  And I think not vaccinating your kids should be considered child abuse.  But that has nothing to do with what I originally responded to that post.

Like I said, thank goodness I don't know any of them.  I feel bad for their families and anyone unfortunate enough to associate with them.

Vaccinate!

I need to state my two cents here……

A longtime ago, a forward thinker discovered the world was indeed round, even though many people didn't believe him and thought it was still flat.

When I was in the 6th grade, I did a report on a man named Jonas Salk.  He was the man who invented vaccination, by the use of inactivated viruses.  This enabled the body to create antibodies to the disease without becoming infected.  The disease he was fighting was Polio, a crippling illness that took many lives, left many paralyzed, and countless others confined to an iron lung.  Because of Dr. Salk, the disease was virtually eradicated.  Many other vaccines were developed, removing the threat of illnesses such as small pox, measles, and typhoid.

Today, people living in a relatively disease free country, do not understand the threat of these deadly viruses.  Some people even opt to not vaccinate their children, concerned about things like autism, for which there is no discernible evidence that vaccines cause such problems.  Are vaccines made with multiple ingredients?  Yes.  Are cinnamon rolls?  Yes.  Will a person allergic to something in cinnamon rolls have a reaction if they eat one?  Yeah, probably.  So is it possible a reaction could happen to the recipient of a vaccine?  Of course.  Is this the norm?  Of course not.

Vaccines have saved COUNTLESS more lives than they have ever taken.  And there is not even substantial evidence vaccines take lives, or cause retardation in any form.  Send any one of these privileged hippy people to a place where malaria is prevalent and not allow them a vaccine?  I'm sure they'd change their mind pretty quickly.  There is a reason Church leaders require missionaries to be vaccinated before traveling abroad: it is to protect them.  Having assisted with many mission physicals, I know mission papers cannot be submitted without proof of vaccination.

I am sad that a young man died shortly after being vaccinated.  However, remember that the news article was done by journalists interviewing a grieving mother…..there was no indication the flu vaccine was the cause of his death, and the mother also refused to have an autopsy done.  So there will not ever be any evidence.  To blame something without any cause is ridiculous.

I don't want my children to get measles, mumps, rubella, diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus, polio….etc….and so that is why I vaccinate.  Having given MANY MANY vaccinations myself, I am a willing advocate for vaccinations.

A Tasty Mixup

Soooo, I had planned to make a nice thick white sauce to pour over toast or pasta for dinner.  I know Tristan will always eat sausage, so I had some ground pork in the freezer I decided to use.  But it turned into a soup…..yeah, didn't make enough roux for as much cream as I put in…..but, it was fabulous!!!!

1 lb groung pork
3 tbsp diced yellow pepper
3 tbsp diced sweet onion
a few leaves of fresh cilantro

3 tbsp butter
3 tbsp flour
1 tbsp minced garlic
1 tsp marjoram
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 can diced Italian tomatoes
1 cup chicken broth
1 cup heavy whipping cream

Shredded mozzarella

Brown ground pork, add yellow pepper, onion and cilantro, saute a few minutes then set aside
in a sauce pan, melt butter and add garlic, onion powder, marjoram, salt and pepper.  Saute until garlic is not raw, then add the flour and whisk into a roux.  Let cook a few minutes, then add the chicken broth , whisking well until the mixture is thickened.  Add the cream, and it will thin out.  Add the Italian tomatoes and let simmer for a few minutes, just to blend all the flavors.

Add the sauce to the pork mixture and mix well, let simmer a few minutes.  Serve with toast or pasta and top with shredded mozzerella.

Sorry, no pictures, it was too delicious.  hehe

Practicing for Christmas Pictures

Let's just say, I probably will never be a children's photographer…….I can't even get my own kids to sit still or smile…..or anything.  Tristan screamed and tried to run away nearly the whole time.  He's got some issues lately…..tried giving him a bath?  Yeah, had to drag him to the bathroom kicking and screaming and bathe him in a total or two minutes while he screamed, splashed water everywhere and knocked everything off the tub.  I am reeeeeeeeeeeally hoping this phase will end soon.  I am losing my sanity.  Other than that, some of the pictures came out ok.

My Babies

Kids grow up too fast.  I keep looking at Aramis and realizing he is going to be as big as Tristan soon, and Tristan is going to be going to school.  I just want them to stay my little babies forever.  There will come a point where they don't need me anymore, and I'm not excited for that day.  Even though it is awful for him, I have enjoyed Aramis wanting to be held so much being sick.  He always wants to be with me, and I am savoring every minute.  I love when Tristan comes up and gives me a big hug and kiss.  He doesn't say "I love you" yet, but he does go "Okay, mommy?"  And that is sweet enough for me.  I've gotten to have a lot of "bonding" time, haha, I guess you could call it, with the boys since Nick left.  It's just them and me.  I thought it was going to be horrible, but to tell you the truth?  I am actually starting to love it.  I love my little guys so much, not that I don't love Nick!  haha, but this experience has taught me a lot about my children, and being a mother.  It really is the best job in the world.