Cultivating Respect in an Era of Tolerance

I have been thinking a lot about the "civil rights movement" of our time.  It's hard not to, it's everywhere.  People advocating for it, people advocating against it.  People too scared to say anything for fear of being labeled, judged, or mocked.  It seems like no one can have an opinion on the matter that isn't criticized.  There is no respect from anyone.

In an age of "tolerance", where we are admonished on all sides to "not judge" and to "be tolerant" of people and ideas that differ from our own, we are rarely taught or encouraged to be respectful.  To tolerate means to allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of something that one does not necessarily agree with without interference.  But to be respectful means to have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights and traditions of others.  The TRADITIONS, the RIGHTS, the FEELINGS.

Regardless of the past, we are indeed encouraged to move forward.  Yes, homosexuals have been poorly treated in the past, as have numerous minorities.  Does this make it right?  Of course not.  Does it mean that it is now their turn to get their oppressors back?  No.  That makes them no better than those who were so awful to begin with.  Forgive me for using a religious example, but it's like an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.  Where do we end up but blind and toothless? as Tevia would say.  Another Christian example?  Christ did nothing when he was being mocked and beaten.  He gladly forgave those who harmed him.  He probably didn't agree with what they were doing, but he did not condemn them.  Neither should we of anyone who behaves or feels differently than we do, on BOTH sides.

I understand the need for everyone to feel secure and protected, to be able to live the way they feel most happy.  Something I've thought about is the fact that many advocators for traditional marriage do not agree with same sex marriage.  While advocators for same sex marriage do not have a problem with traditional marriage.  It's not that they are trying to redefine marriage to be homosexual only, but inclusive.  I can also understand the fear of those who advocate for traditional marriage, fearing that if the line is redrawn, it is essentially removed and where will the change end?  Will we soon be able to marry as many dogs as we want?  Of course that is a silly example, but there are people out there who think like that.

I think EVERYONE needs to arrive at a compromise.  Yes, for centuries, marriage has been defined as a heterosexual union, arranged or otherwise.  Marriage for tax and government purposes has been likewise.  But I already see a distinction forming.  Traditional Marriage vs. Gay Marriage.  Two terms to describe two types of marriage.  Plural Marriage isn't traditional marriage either, yet those who practice it aren't offended to call it that.

Another thing I thought of......a lot of people dehumanize homosexuals.  They are compared to sex hungry animals in many instances, which is rude, wrong, and ridiculous.  Stereotyping causes trouble quickly.  It would be like calling all Catholic priest pedophiles, which is of course not the case!  Do some exist?  Probably, but it is not good to hold a group of people to the standard of one.  Something homosexuals try to explain is the feeling of love, the love they feel for one another.  Good friends can attest to perhaps similar feelings of love, feelings that have nothing to do with sexuality.  Husbands and wives married for years, where "the romance has died" still feel love and admiration for one another.  My LDS roots led me to think this.....and it's probably not correct, but just something I thought.  In a world where heterosexual males and females are afraid to express love (not sex) to one another, maybe homosexuals have a leg up on being capable of loving anyone, any gender, unconditionally as we are commanded to.  After all, in LDS theology, we are commanded to love everyone as we love ourselves, yet many heterosexuals are fearful of expressing affection due to common prejudice and insecurity.

Let me be clear.  I do not agree with homosexual copulation, and I'm an advocate for traditional marriage.  However, I believe in cultivating an attitude of respect for our differing opinions on both sides.  I do not hate the LGBT community at all!  I'm sure they are descent as "the rest of us", and I know they have feelings, wants and dreams just like me.  They are human beings after all!  But I don't have to like the color green just because everyone says I should.  And I don't need to be labeled a bigot for preferring red instead.   Church and state should be separated, but churches shouldn't be punished federally for advocating their defining traditions.  If we are promoting change, perhaps new institutions could be created, as they have been in days past, to accommodate changing views.  And let the traditional change in a time well enough for them, if they desire to.

Times are going to change no matter what we do, civilizations have been changing and evolving ever since peoples came together.  Its not going to stop.  But no one should be forced to believe in something they don't want to, on any side, in any circumstance.  And no one should be judged badly for their beliefs.  Everyone is doing the best with what they have, and it is their prerogative to believe what they will, and to share it just the same.