My latest

I got a little bored the other day.  Tristan was napping, the house was clean, and I needed to be quiet.  SO I got out my clay and decided I would make a rabbit.  How hard could it be?  They are basically a ball of fluff with a poof tail and long ears.  Well, either I'm challenged or it is hard.  As I started shaping the face, I realized it didn't look right.  Neither did my attempt at the body.  Ok, I'll turn it into a dog.  Ok…this isn't working either…..looks more like a sphinx.  Nope…..how about a jackal?  Yeah, that worked.

Ultimately, it looks like a bad cross between Mayan and Egyptian art.  Ah well, I tried.

And in keeping with my awesome Egyptian theme, I decided to make Bast....well, my version of her at least.  I think it turned out pretty well, and I even got a little charm to hang around her neck.  I can say that she looks better than  the Suki I made a few weeks ago...hahaha

O is for Outstanding

For the last 15 weeks, we have been sending one letter card a week to Atticus Hansen in Sunnyvale Texas.

Very soon after we got the email, recruiting everyone to send letters and postcards, I came up with the idea to send letters of the alphabet.  After doing a little research, I realized the survival rate for his cancer was very low, and only a few months at that.   I was always afraid he wouldn't make it to Z.  It would have just been 26 weeks.  That's not that long.

He only made it to O.  O for Outstanding.  Yesterday, after 5 months of fighting, he passed away.  It is a bittersweet thing to lose a child who has been suffering from cancer.  On the one hand, he can finally rest, but on the other, his parents have to say goodbye to their precious baby boy.  I can't even imagine the heartache they must feel at his passing.  Knowing there is life after death can certainly ease the pain and help with understanding, but it doesn't automatically make you feel better.  It's a difficult thing to handle, no matter what the circumstance.

I am grateful, however, that we were able to get to know the Hansen family.  I'm grateful for their tremendous example of humility, service, sacrifice, and complete faith and trust in Heavenly Father.  I'm grateful for little Atticus, and the opportunity I had to be a part of his life, however small it was.  He will always be a strong hero in my eyes; at just four years old he endured more than most people will ever have to in a lifetime.  And he did it with a smile.  I'm sure his parents are proud and honored to have been blessed with such a son, who touched the lives of many people all over the world.

Rest in peace, sweet Atticus.

Phyllo

When we started preparing dinner last night, we had no idea just how involved it was going to be.

Have you ever tried preparing something with phyllo dough?  Oh my gosh, it is time consuming and difficult!  I can't even imagine making baklava from scratch after that!  First of all, you have to let the dough thaw, but not too long, because it dries out.  So you have to have everything you are going to fill it with completed before you start making the little phyllo rolls, or packets or whatever.  Then, when you uncover it, you have to immediately paint it with butter, both sides.  And the rest you have to keep covered with moist towel or it falls apart.  And it is sooo hard!  We were like going crazy trying to paint them and roll them without them drying out.  It was mad.

But!  When it was all said and done, they tasted amazing.  We made a marjoram spiced chicken, as well as sauteed mushrooms and onions with peppers to go in the phyllo.  The chicken and mushrooms sat on top of a spinach leaf and bit of cheese, then got rolled up in the buttered dough sheets.  Super super yummy, but dang difficult to make.

If you want a complicated but super tasty meal, you should give it a try!

Tristan's Favorite: The CHEESE Doodle

Best Soup Ever!

Want to try an amazing soup?  Just enough sweet and spice to make your mouth water and entice your senses!  It was by far one of the best soups I have ever made in my ENTIRE life!

It all started when we were shopping at Walmart and Nick said to me, hey, we should get a squash and make soup.  A few weeks ago I randomly bought an acorn squash and wanted to try making something out of it.  The food turned out ok, but I think I added too much garlic….oh well.  So he said we should try again.  I ended up picking out a nice butternut squash, and as we were heading to the checkout, Nick said we should buy a coconut.  "It might taste really good!" he said.  I figured, what the hey, it probably would!

First, I chopped up the squash (that was super hard!) to boil in chicken broth.  I let it boil for about 45 minutes to make sure it was nice and tender.  Then, I let it rest.  In a frying pan, I sauteed a handful or so of chopped onions and some chopped jalapenos in a few tablespoons of butter.  As they cooked, I added onion powder, cayanne pepper, marjoram, ginger and nutmeg for the spice.  When they were cooked enough, I added them to the squash in the chicken broth and brought that to a simmer again.  While it was simmering, I added a few spoonfuls of sour cream, and maybe 2 or 3 tablespoons of cream cheese and let that cook.  And the best part, we poured about half a cup of the fresh coconut milk and a few tablespoons of coconut meat in as well.  Salt and pepper to taste, and maybe a tablespoon of sugar.

Then, when it was all mushy and cooked, I put it in the blender to smooth it down.  Oh my goodness, it was heaven on a spoon!  Best butternut squash soup I have ever had before, and I definitely recommend you all try it!!

Film Blog

Just for fun, I've made a blog to post some of my better film shots and back stories, so if you wanted to check it out, here is the link! http://athroughbacktofilm.blogspot.com/

I thought it wold be fun because not a whole lot of people use film anymore.

Wild Horses

Today, we went for a drive down the Pony Express and walked with wild horses.

It was fully AWESOME!

We went with my dad out for a drive to take pictures with our SLR cameras.  My dad had helped me get together my camera set up, so we invited him to go out with us and kind of show me how to use the lens and things like that.  And we were not skunked, we found exactly what we were looking for.  And we got to get right up close and personal.  The antelope were spooky, but the horses let us get within feet of them.  For a little bit, then they started stressing so we left them alone.  We also saw huge cricket bugs, giant ant hills, red grasshoppers, an orange bellied lizard, and beautiful cactus flowers.  It was a great trip.

Poor Tristan hated most of the car ride, but he loved getting out and walking around with us.  "Walking"…haha we carried him everywhere.  Good thing too, I don't think he would have enjoyed all the pokey grass in his socks.  We were picking the grass prickles out of our shoes most of the way home!

I've never gotten to do anything like this, and it was amazing.  I though the horses would be like a herd of moose and come trample me.  Haha, but they didn't.  And I even got up close to bees in the flowers, I am making great strides here!  I'm glad we were all able to have such a wonderful day out together.  I can't wait till we can go take pictures again!

Botox Follow Up

Today, at the crack of dawn, we drove up to Riverton to have Tristan's botox follow up.  It's amazing just how far he has come in the three months since then.  Learning how to sit up, pull himself up, crawl, walk.  And just hold his head up.  I'm so glad he was able to get that treatment and that he is doing so well now. He walks all over the house with his baby walker, and I bet it's only a matter of time before he lets go and tries on his own.  I'm so proud of that little guy, he's done fabulously!

So as of right now, we are DONE with physical therapy and other such appointments, because our baby is right on par!

It's not Halloween yet?

Watching everyone leave

Playing with glowsticks

Let me out!

Look, I'm "reading"!

Crawling fool

Pick me up!

Think I fit into daddy's shirts?

I'm ready to get washed now!

Hmm, I think I will pull out all my clothes

Taking after me

I'm pretty sure I had the upper hand when it came to passing on genetic information.  Tristan's eyes are turning brown, he's got monster cheekies, and now his hair is getting curly.  What can I say?  My baby looks like me!!  (sorry Nick, haha)  Just kidding, he looks an awful lot like Nick too, especially the blondeness.  We have one dang cute kid alright.  

I want

It's a strange thing when reality comes knocking on your door and you realize real life needs to start.

I was so used to being young.  I guess I still am young, but I'm starting to discover there is more to life than just what I want out of it.  I've had to do a lot of serious thinking about my future.

There are things that I love doing, things I want to be doing, things I should be doing, and things I have no choice about.  Like being a mom, I don't really have much of a choice, I have to take care of Tristan.  He is my number one priory most of the time.  Then there is house work.  I hate doing it day in and day out, but it is kind of expected of me, and is something I should be doing.  Then there is writing.  I love writing, but with every rejection letter and non interest, I feel more and more like I'm wasting my time.  Or singing, something I haven't done in a very long time, and haven't really had much occasion for.

I feel like there are so many things I want, but I have to be satisfied with the things I should want.  Or the things that are wanted for me.  Sometimes I feel like Tristan when he gets put down for bed.  No matter how much he screams, I won't go get him and eventually, he relents and goes to sleep.  I feel like sometimes I just relent because its easier than to keep fighting.  But at the same time, I don't want to settle.

It's like I said about whats-her-name from "Coal Miner's Daughter".  She had a dream......well, her husband had a dream for her actually.  He pushed her until she became famous.  And she loved what she was doing.  I don't want to be mediocre for the rest of my life, I want to be exceptional at something.  But you can only believe yourself so far, it takes other people believing in you too.

I guess I have to just find that thing that sparks a fire in me and go for it.  All my life, people have been telling me what I should do, and I realize, I haven't taken charge of my own life very much.  I've always done things for the benefit of others.  I was a music major because someone paid for me to have voice lessons.  I got a degree in Medical Assisting because Nick wanted me to get a good job while he went to school.  I became a stay-at-home mom because Nick needed me to.  I am meticulous about order in the house because I don't want people to think I am a slob.

I'm just afraid of being a bystander in my own life.  Watching it pass me by while other's make the decisions I should be making.  I guess that's why I want to be an author so badly.  Because even though so many people weren't interested, when that one company is, I can show that I overcame the odds.  That even though it was hard, I still persevered.  That I can be original and intelligent despite what others believe.  And that I'm not just another woman washing the kitchen floor.

Mother's Day

This year I got to celebrate my second legitimate mother's day.  And while I was expecting breakfast in bed and luxurious bath before church, Nick fed Tristan and played with him all morning so it was pretty good.  Haha, but no, it was a good day.  My parents came to church with us, which was fabulous.  My dad took Tristan out when he was fussy, so I got to listen to most of the meeting.   Then we went on a manhunt for chocolate milk that wasn't expired in the vending machines.  And, my parents bought Tristan a little toy piano, which he played all the way to Riverton.,  We had a dinner up at my sister Faith's house.  My dad helped me with my camera, showing me how to use the zoom lens and other features, so that was a lot of fun.  And I was able to give my mom the clay octopus I had made.  I hope it made it back to Alaska without suffering too many casualties!  Then after dinner died down and everyone was heading out, Nick pulled me and Tristan around the park in a wagon.  Even though he was almost asleep, the little guy loved it.  We also rode around on these weird little wiggle carts, where you had to turn the wheel back and forth to make yourself go forward….it was quite the work out!  Yes, I'm pathetic I know.

When we got back home, it was late, and Tristan was soo ready for bed.  We  gave him a bottle and he went right down.  Poor thing did not get much of a nap.  My mom was able to rock him to sleep (wow!) and he slept on the couch for half an hour, but little guys need more than that!  He did sleep in this morning, which was wonderful.  Mommies need that every once in a while.  So, even though it is belated, Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day bath

waiting for food to be ready

Right after this was taken, Tristan

grabbed Katy's plate and it went everywhere

Nana rocking baby to sleep

And he's out!

Grandkids picture with Nana

Riding the wagon

Happy Family

"Pretend you're screaming!"

"Gah!!!!"

Is it my turn to drive yet?

A few pitcures

A couple of pictures from this past week:

Hanging out at the park for a ward activity,

it was a little cold!

This is what I find in the mornings,

Suki sound asleep in the bouncer

Tristan's new favorite, cheese doodles!

And he won't eat anything else,

the rest ends up everywhere but his mouth

Daddy like to mess with baby, haha

Chillin' with the stuffed animals,

he likes to sit in his toy bins

Visit with Nana and Papa