To the Corporation of the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints,
Mssrs.
Monson, Uchtdorf, Eyring,
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints failed me.
It failed me, it failed my family. It failed millions of
people all around the world. And what’s most disturbing is that it doesn’t
care. It has merely offered excuses, clarification, and equivocations.
The church failed me as a child in primary. It taught me to
pray to a god without evidence that one exists. It taught me to interpret my
own feelings for their gain. It taught me to pay 10% of my money, every dollar,
to pay for living expenses of leadership, malls, and lavish temples in third
world countries. It taught me to blindly repeat that god loved me and Joseph
Smith was a prophet, though it offered no evidence or reason.
When I was a young woman, the church failed me. It taught me
that I was responsible for impure thoughts in young men. It taught me to
prepare myself for marriage, to be a wife and mother. It taught me that that
would be my greatest achievement. It discouraged me from a career, from a good
education. It failed me by teaching me to hate myself for being a woman. It
taught me to feel shame about my breasts and my legs and my hips and my butt.
It restricted my curiosity, my activities, my dress, my friendships. It failed me.
The church failed me as a woman in college. It robbed me of
normal relationships and experiences. It
taught me my education was meaningless unless I ascribed it to deity. It taught
me only to learn the things that were church approved. And that a woman’s main
goal was to marry and bear children. It taught me this, and so my education
fell by the wayside, as I instead decided to marry and follow the prophet’s
counsel.
When I contemplated marriage, the church failed me. It gave
me a patriarchal blessing that told me to marry quickly. It required weekly
chastity checkups with an unqualified lay bishop, who would probe about my
sexual activity. It failed me in my wedding, keeping the majority of my family
out of my marriage ceremony. It failed me on my wedding night. It taught me to
be ashamed of my sexuality and uncomfortable with intimacy. It failed me in my
marriage, teaching me to be a subservient and silent partner. It failed me
physically and mentally, telling me to have children before I was prepared.
The church failed me financially. Telling me to not put off
having children, and to stay home to raise them. It failed me when because of
this I had to quit my job and go on welfare and it still required I pay
tithing. It failed me when we had to eat Raman and choose between toothpaste
and shampoo so we could pay our tithing.
The church failed me when I was lost. When I was
discouraged. When I was earnestly seeking answers. It told me by way of the
members that I was the problem. That I didn’t have enough faith. That I had
lost the spirit somehow. It failed me as it shamed me for my honest doubts and
questions. It rebuked me for wondering. It called me a sinner, an apostate, a
sign seeker, a “Korihor” as I sought answers to my questions. The church failed
me when I was in Utah and I contacted the office of the first presidency. It
failed me when I was taught my worth was great, and I was told there were 15
million other members and they didn’t have time for me. It failed me when I sat
crying in the temple listening to the temple worker tell me my eternal destiny
was a crapshoot. That the best there was for me was to never be heard of again.
To be a second rate deity, eternally birthing babies and receiving no glory, no
credit, no prayers or communication from my children. Always deferring to the
male.
It failed me as a mother. It failed me as a wife. It failed
me as a woman. It failed me.
The church not only failed me, it destroyed me. It destroyed
many of my family relationships. For as I began to question, they began to look
at me differently. They withdrew. They accused me of horrific things, like
adultery and promiscuity. They ignored me or argued with me. These members of
the church of Christ, became some of my greatest enemies. Judging and name
calling. How could this possibly be a church of Christ of a benevolent god? It
failed me in my family.
The church failed me. The church failed itself. But will it
ever acknowledge it? No. Because has it actually failed? Perhaps ethically, but
financially? It has done very well conning people like me out of thousands, out
of millions of dollars. It preys upon the weak minded, the lonely, the lost,
the desperate, and the charitable. It preys upon the faithful earnestly seeking
a god. It preys upon children. It preys upon mothers and fathers. It ruins
lives. It creates anguish and turmoil. It breeds unrest and unhappiness. It councils
marriage before it ever counsels compatibility. It sexually represses and
creates a culture of rape and sexual addiction. It ignores real problems and
shames biology. It has a central membership addicted to narcotics,
tranquilizers and SSRIs. It controls women. It absolutely controls women and
absolves men from responsibility for their thoughts and actions.
This church is a destructive force in humanity. I can’t help
but wonder how the leaders live with themselves. I wonder how they can feel
good about taking poor people’s money. I wonder how they can function knowing
that god doesn’t exist and still take advantage of so many that have been
blinded by inherited and conditioned loyalty? I really, truly don’t understand
how they can tell boldfaced lies and think it will go unnoticed? How they can
fail so many people who are different, how they can feel good that homosexual
and transgender members are ostracized and committing suicide because of their
teachings? It is disgusting; they have failed those poor souls as well.
This church has failed. It has failed in so many ways. And
so long as I exist I will bear the scars of that failure in my every day life.
As my parents weep for my eternal soul, as my siblings converse in hushed tones
about my apostasy, as my children are excluded from the family for being raised
by my husband and myself , for we saw through the lie. Our world was ripped
apart, torn from beneath our feet. Our faith destroyed. Our hopes and dreams
dashed. We were betrayed. We were lied to. We were robbed. We were failed.
You have failed us.
And so I hereby resign my membership in the Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter Day Saints, effective immediately, and request you to remove
my name permanently from your membership records. I wish no further contact
from representatives of your church except to confirm that my name has been
removed from your records. I expect to receive that confirmation within a
reasonably short time. I am fully aware that by resigning my temple ordinances
are suspended. They are constructed by man, and therefore of little consequence
to me. No meeting with local leaders or waiting period is necessary. I am of
sound mind, and you have no legal right to retain my membership.
I expect this matter to be handled promptly, with respect
and with full confidentiality. You will not contact my family about my
resignation. If you contact my family or my local leaders, you will have
invaded my privacy. You will send any necessary letters confirming my
membership and my children’s membership termination directly to me and no one
else.
I sincerely hope as a concerned, fellow human, that you will
reconsider what you are doing. That you will wake up from this damned delusion
and start doing good rather than committing atrocities. The world does not
revolve around your chauvinism, bigotry, hate and fear. Stop acting like it.
Make a choice. Make a choice to do right by humanity. Do not fail what is left
of your members. Do right by them by telling them the truth and let them decide
for themselves if they will stay to help the church change or leave and be free
from the deception and lies.
Best Wishes,
Sara-Helen Davis